At 41, I always wonder will I ever love again? Its hard to bounce back from a relationship that did not work. When you put your all into something that supposed to last a lifetime and it fails, do you really try it again? I said when I was younger that if marriage didn't work for me the first time, I would not give a it a second time to fail. But, when I turned 40 something happened. I became secure in who I was as a mother, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin and most importantly a person. May 2008, I did not know what the future held for me in the love department but I did know that if I was happy being me, then I was happy. Another thing I discovered was that I would not compromise who I was for anyone. The changes I made would be because I wanted them not because someone would "love me more" if I was this way or that way. I have learned that's a pretty good quality, one I plan to keep. So, that brings me to my topic. When a person has made the changes in their life and accepted the person they are, how do you know, when a person who meets all the initial criteria of a partner, really love you?
There's a big difference from being infatuated with someone and in love, but in the beginning it can be hard to tell the difference between the two (eHow, n.d.). There are six steps I think I should take to tell if he really loves me. I am not sure how many I can explain but I will try.
Step 1. Clarify what love is for you. Write down all your thoughts and feelings about what a loving relationship would be like for you.
For me love is a partnership. It's not about what he can do for me or what I can do for him but what WE can do for each other. Its not about his or mines but ours. I am not into the traditional relationships where it is all about if he can take care of me. I have learned I can take care of myself and as time goes on, I will get better at it so I don't need that from a man. I think love is about supporting each other's dreams and goals. A relationship is accepting all of a person, including their faults and downfalls. Its about not reliving the past mistakes but helping each other to make better and smarter decisions for the future. A loving relationship is about having a friend, a best friend. A person that will sit down and talk for an hour about nothing or sharing a secret that one would never tell anyone else. It's about communication, that includes laughing when its funny, crying when its sad and agreeing to disagree. Most of all, I believe a relationship is about two people having faith in God or whatever a person believe. Knowing that He will bless the relationship and putting it in His hands and just live each day to the fullest.
I think when two people have all of this they have love. This is what a loving relationship is to me.
To Be Continued...
