This has been a wonderful year. I used to be afraid of getting older but God really brought peace to my life this year. I started this journey with three babies and by the time my youngest was nine, I was entering single parenting. By the grace of God, I have truimphed and although I know I have a long way to go, I know He will guide me and my decisions on this journey.
I will try and recap without being too boring. I turned 40 this year and I truly believe the Lord made my mind better when I hit the "new" 30s. I am more settled in my situation and I am at peace with where I am in my life. I think I can be a better person the more I educate myself so being in school is no longer a burden or a means to make more money, it is a privilege to grow and become a better Tracey. WOW! I cannot believe I just said that, but it is true. I must say my financial situation is still the same but I am sure everyone is feeling what I have been feeling for a while but once again, my mind tells me it is what it is and I just deal with it. Anyone who has been reading my blogs know that I got the chance to a see a friend I have not seen in over a decade and that made for a wonderful summer. My oldest son turned 16. That was great except he was bombing in his schoolwork and I had to make a decision to withdraw him from private school. It was a hard decision but it has paid off. My middle child grew so tall and handsome and his entire demeanor changed. He has matured and accepted his short comings. Instead of using them as an excuse, he is trying to succeed despite them. I am so proud to be his mom. My baby turned 13. The last child to become a teenager. That calls for another WOW! She did somethings that really made me proud of her. She donated birthday money to a cause and she refused to drop a class because she was not succeeding but she hung in there and improved her situation.
Last but definitely not least, he came. It was when I least expected and definitely not looking. I got off the shuttle meeting him for lunch, he bent down and tied my shoe. I needed to go to the dentist, he picked me up, sat in the waiting room for an hour and took me back to work. He is intelligent, articulate and he just amazes me everyday. You know sometimes when we focus on physical qualities; saying we want this type of man, that type of man, it is never a good thing. I wanted those qualities that are on the inside more so than the outside. I wanted someone who would be good to me, kind, faithful, honest and a man of integrity. I also wanted someone who would accept me as I am, independent, strong and on a path to being successful. Plus, he looks good. I had not given up on finding him but I can honestly say I wasn't looking. He has brought out the feelings that I put in the back of my mind years ago. He does not make me happy, he adds to the happiness I already have in my life and that is important. I am not sure what the future holds for us and I am enjoying the time I have now but I am looking forward to a future with him in it.
This rounds out my year. I have been blessed to have my children, family, education and love. I can honestly say turning 40 was a good thing. Thank you Lord for giving me this time of my life.
