Step 2. Distinguish between love and lust or infatuation. Lust is an intense sexual desire. Infatuation refers to the initial stage of a relationship, when you are "crazy" about him, but this feeling usually fades over time.
I can admit when I first started dating him, it was exciting. You know, that feeling you get from something new. I was infatuated with the idea of him. His ethnic background, his plans for the future and his thought process. These things were so new to me that it just sucked me in. I wanted to hear more everyday. I appreciated the fact that he did not try to impress me actually it was the opposite. I learned that he lived one day at a time and he understood his situation could change at any moment. This was why he wanted more. He wanted to secure a future for himself and his family (family meaning children). Everyday he introduced me to something exciting and when I learned he was a musician, I lost it. Lust went to a whole new level. All of this lasted about a couple of months, then routine set in. We saw each other when time permitted. He was trying to finish his degree, work two jobs, and play music. Busy, huh? Definitely, but he still made time for me. Meanwhile, I was working 40+ hours a week, going to school and taking care of my family (family meaning children). This is when lust and infatuation turned to love.
I still got excited when I knew we were going to spend time together and we could sit and talk for hours about nothing and his conversations were still exciting. Then when I reached a hard time in my life, he remained positive about the situation and he hung in there with me. He helps me with schoolwork and because of his help, I got A's in classes that were tough. Now we just have a routine. He's in grad school, I am still trying to finish undergrad, kids are in school, we work and he still play music. All of this and when we get time together it is exciting and that first time feeling is still there...almost a year later. We have disagreements but we are okay to agree that we will disagree. Some days I want to be alone, but when I am, I miss him and cannot wait to see him. When I see him play, its like watching him for the first time all over again.
I think I can say that I am past the lusting period and I am truly in love. Having looked at these two steps, I love that man.
To be continued...
